Whether the relationship was long-term, short-term, or a case of unrequited love, a breakup can be difficult to move on from. Regardless of how long you were seeing someone, you got to know them and care about them. Saying goodbye to the hopes you might have had for the relationship can be the hardest part.
Here are a few tips on how to cope with a breakup:
Let your emotions happen. It’s okay to be sad and angry after a breakup. Let yourself mourn. eHarmony says that even though the temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup, it’s important to be truthful about how you feel. Take time to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb, so surround yourself with friends who will listen.
Keep yourself healthy. Help Guide cautions you to be careful that your grief doesn’t become depression. Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but the sadness will begin to lift. If you don’t feel like you’re moving forward, you may be suffering from depression.
After a breakup, some people try to numb the pain with alcohol or other self-destructive distractions, but obviously that isn’t a good idea. You might think that alcohol or food will help relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness, but using them as an escape is unhealthy and doesn’t work anyway. The next morning, the pain is still there, often amplified by remorse and shame.
Get rid of triggers. Clear away reminders of your ex: photos, cards, gifts, etc. If you’re having trouble throwing out these things, Your Tango suggests that you can have a friend hold onto them for you until you are ready to get rid of them for good. On social media, hide or unfriend your ex’s pages so that you don’t have to see what they’re doing or thinking every moment of the day. When you clear yourself of your ex, you are opening yourself up to healing and getting on with your life without them.
Keep busy. Don’t let the breakup get in the way of the things you love to do. Some days will be more difficult than others; a memory will pop into your head and change your entire mood. Make sure to have distractions: start a new comedy on Netflix, go to the gym, grab a new book, go shopping, or do a crossword puzzle. Don’t let the memory get you down; you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.
Time is the best healer, but sometimes it’s hard to stop spinning those emotional wheels. If your patient friends’ eyes start to glaze over when you try to talk to them again about your broken heart, it might be time to seek outside help. A good therapist will listen and help you work through the grief so that you can move on with your life. You deserve to be happy.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: Ramp to Space via photopin (license)
