Regardless of how careful you are of what your children watch on television, we live in a highly sexualized society where children are often exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviors before they are developmentally prepared to handle them.
Although the conversations might be awkward, they are crucial. According to Focusonthefamily.com, the best place for a child to learn about puberty and sex is at home from those who care most. Anyone can teach the basic facts about reproduction in an hour or two, but you are in the best position to put this information in the proper context and give it the right perspective.
If you don’t take the time to have these conversations, someone else will, whether it be from classmates’ slang and obscenity, an overheard and distorted description of intercourse, or a look at some pornographic material on television or the Internet.
Be a team. It might seem logical to have mothers talk with daughters and fathers with sons. However, it’ll be more beneficial in the long run if both parents participate in the discussions of sexuality. That way, both mom and dad can offer perspectives, and one can pick up the thread if the other draws a blank.
Josh Misner agrees. In an article on Huffington Post, Misner talks about attending an event with his daughter that was meant to offer information on the growing up process. He says that “it’s time that fathers take a more active role in educating and raising their daughters to accept themselves for all that they are and ever will be.”
Be proactive. Start talking to your child early. If you have regular conversations, discussing puberty and sex will be easier as you’ve established a comfort level with each other. When you discuss sex with your child, it isn’t that you’re endorsing it–you’re making sure your child is given the facts and educated properly.
Be patient. Don’t try to tell them everything in one sitting. It’s a lot to comprehend. It might seem easier for you to sit them down and cover everything you can think of, but it won’t be beneficial for your child.
Research. Your child will have questions, so make sure to respond thoughtfully and considerately. It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers. Here is a chance to show your son or daughter that even adults have to ask questions and get help sometimes. Some of your resources are your child’s doctor, trusted websites such as Planned Parenthood, or even other family members.
Letting your child know that they can come to you with questions about this topic is an important factor in family relationships. Creating a safe place to learn about sex can help keep everyone well informed.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: Honey bees via photopin (license)
