Maybe you’ve only heard of people going to a marriage counselor after a spouse has had an affair or in a last-ditch effort to keep their marriage alive. Although couples do go to therapy because of those issues, they definitely aren’t the only motives for seeking help.
We’ve compiled a list of less obvious reasons why you should look into couples counseling. These smaller issues, when allowed to fester, can become just as toxic as infidelity, addiction, or a recent loss. Some of these issues can be difficult to try and fix on your own, and that’s where a marriage counselor steps into the picture.
Seeking help from a professional in the early stages of a problem is a great way to stop it before it becomes a big problem.
Resentment. You can’t let go of something that happened in the past. Perhaps you thought you’d forgiven your spouse, but that same incident keeps coming up. Hayley Hengst from Austin Mom’s Blog reminds us that even the things buried deep in your or your spouse’s past can affect your marriage.
Maybe his dad left the family when he was a kid, and he didn’t think it shaped his view of marriage and family, but he suddenly feels the repercussions of his dad’s actions. One or both of you may have things that you thought you had dealt with, but maybe you still have some work to do on that issue.
When affection is withheld. If you or your spouse get angry over the small things and then choose to withhold affection, there is a lack of balance in the relationship. Withholding affection as punishment is never okay. If one partner starts to act like a parent or a punisher, it’s time to seek help.
You feel more like roommates. When you and your spouse feel that all you have in common is the refrigerator, this may be an indication that you need counseling. Donna M. White of Psych Central warns that if there is a lack of communication, intimacy, or any other elements the two of you feel are important, you might seek out the help of a counselor.
You’re keeping secrets. You have a right to privacy, and so does your spouse. However, when you start keeping major secrets from each other, something isn’t right. The longer this sort of thing goes on in a marriage, the deeper the wedge between you can grow.
If you and your spouse have some of the warning signs, it doesn’t mean that your marriage can’t be fixed. It means that you’ve recognized the signals and have time to work on them. A marriage counselor can help you through those issues; in the end, you’ll come out with a stronger sense of who you are as a couple.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: Josh & Sara via photopin (license)
