Earlier this month, Reka shared an article on her Facebook page that talks about accepting a person as a full package. Here’s the actual quote taken from Baggage Reclaim’s website:
“Even if we focus on a person’s good points, we will always deal with the consequences of them coming as a full package.”
Your partner (just like you) has positive and negative characteristics, and will bring them both to your relationship. It’s important to create a relationship where each person can be themselves without having to hide or sugarcoat their “negative” qualities.
How do you create a place where a loving relationship can grow? Psychcentral.com says it best: create a “we” that can house two “I’s.” In order to have a strong “we,” you must first have two strong “I’s.” Each “I” will bring different strengths and weaknesses into the relationship. The “we” will be stronger than the two “I’s” separately because they have each other to lean on.
Creating a “we” establishes a team. A team works best when it communicates openly. You need to share not only the happy moments, but also the burdens.
Communicating the ordinary, everyday happenings can seem insignificant or unnecessary, but getting in the habit of sharing will strengthen your communication skills and therefore your relationship.
Not only is it important to communicate, it is important to listen to what your partner is saying. Think about it – how many fights start because we failed to listen? How many fights escalate because we aren’t listening or are interrupting our partner? The more we communicate and listen, the few challenges we face.
When a problem arises, communicate your point and listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting them. Don’t just wait for them to stop talking so that you can start in again. Really listen to your partner. It’s safe to assume that you want to be heard and understood, the same goes for your partner.
Establishing a “we” is crucial for a happy relationship. It’s also crucial for each partner to have some alone time. Alone time lets a person clear their mind, unwind from a long day, and reflect. Perhaps you take half an hour before bed to journal, read, or watch a favorite television program.
Next week, we will look at the same quote from Baggage Reclaim’s website and use it to talk about how to build healthy, positive friendships.
If you have any questions about this blog post, please don’t hesitate to comment or reach out. To set up an appointment to see Reka, you can reach her at 402-881-8125. You can also email her at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or connect with her via Twitter or Facebook.
