If you’ve been on social media recently, you might have seen the multiple articles about Emily Bingham, a 33-year-old freelance journalist and social media consultant who’s received attention for her Facebook post about people who inquire about women’s fertility and reproduction issues.

In her original post, she uploaded a photo of an ultrasound to Facebook and attached a message that addressed the many questions women face about reproduction. She explains why people shouldn’t ask women when they are going to have their first child, their second child, or if they are ever going to have children–they shouldn’t ask because it’s none of their business.

Women often feel pressured by society to be married and have children by a certain age. However, not all women want a life with a husband and children. Others want children but are unable to because of fertility issues.

Here are a few reasons Bingham gives for not asking about a woman’s fertility:

She might have had a miscarriage.Having a miscarriage can be physically, mentally, and emotionally difficult. It takes time for her to grieve. If someone asks her why she doesn’t have children or when she’s having children, it can bring back all of those painful emotions.

She and her partner might have undergone difficult fertility treatments. In a Vox article, Sarah Kogod explains what her fertility treatments were like:

“Each month meant a minimum of three blood tests, sometimes multiple tests in one day that had to be scheduled on a day’s notice. I took pills in the first half of my cycle that caused mood swings. My own hormones in the second half of the month sent me swinging the other way. For the first three months I had to give myself a shot in the stomach to trigger ovulation, and when that didn’t work I graduated to shots in the stomach on consecutive days of the month.”

In addition to the mood swings, the treatments often hurt; they can cause bloating, headaches, hot flashes, anxiety, depression, and nausea. Some can cause the formation of large ovarian cysts. Fertility treatments are also quite expensive. A woman who is putting her body through major changes doesn’t want to talk about why she can’t get pregnant with someone who isn’t her doctor or her partner.

It’s none of your business. This might seem harsh, but it’s true. What is happening inside a couple’s marriage is none of your business unless they come to you asking for advice or a shoulder to cry on. If that’s the case, do your best to be supportive. The simplest way to do that is ask two simple questions: What do you need? How can I help you?

If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.

photo credit: My Cousins of Kofu via photopin (license)