In our blog post this past September, we explored the question “is love enough?” and decided that in some situations, it isn’t. Sometimes, a marriage can’t be saved, even after seeking help from a marriage counselor.

It’s important to remember that marriage counselors try to help clients come to mutually beneficial compromises and solutions. The solution might end up in a stronger, healthier marriage. Couples with long-term problems can benefit from counseling, as a therapist can help refocus the couple’s attention and add new perspective to their relationship.

However, sometimes the best solution is a separation or divorce. Even if seeing a therapist doesn’t save your marriage, it might help the marriage end in a more peaceful manner.

In counseling, both spouses are in a safe setting where the therapist can act as a mediator. Each spouse has the ability to talk out their feelings and let the other know what he/she is feeling. Why does one spouse want a divorce? Why does the other want to work it out? It’s important to go through these questions in detail with someone who knows when to push and when to step back.

A skillful counselor can help to keep the discussion away from guilt and blame and help the couple reach a conclusion about their marriage. The counselor can then help each spouse come to terms with the divorce while also guiding each spouse to accept some responsibility for the falling out, rather than each side trying to blame or fault the other. If separation or divorce is the conclusion, therapy often becomes even more important.

Individual therapy can help a struggling spouse learn how to cope with the mental, physical, and financial process of divorce. A spouse may have feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression, and grief. Working with a therapist can provide an objective, non-judgmental perspective to help him/her through the difficult time.

If you and your spouse are struggling or considering divorce, please consider meeting with Reka. Here are some tips on how to tell your spouse that you want to seek help from a counselor.

In our next blog post, we will be continue our discussion and talk about how therapy can help with your recovery after divorce. If you have any questions about today’s blog post, don’t hesitate to contact Reka by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at, or via Twitter or Facebook.

photo credit: Vladimir Yaitskiy via photopin cc