This is a special blog series on bullying. In our last blog post, we talked about how to help your child if he or she is being bullied.
It doesn’t matter when you were bullied—in grade school, in college, or in your workplace—a bully can affect your life years after the abuse. Some people are able to let go of those negative feelings. However, others can struggle with the healing process.
It’s important that you do heal after being bullied. According to the EuniceKennedy ShriverNational Institute of Child Health and Human Development, bullying can lead to social and emotional problems, depression, anxiety, headaches, and low self-esteem.
Here are a few tips to share with your children on how to overcome being bullied, whether it’s been weeks or years since it happened:
Break the silence: In order to heal, you must acknowledge and express your feelings. One of the first steps is to admit your feelings to yourself; repressing them does no good. Break the silence by speaking out—first to yourself, then to someone you trust.
See a therapist: Katherine Mayfield, an author who writes about bullying and dysfunctional families, believes that when someone hurts us, it’s human nature to hold on to it. For some reason, we think that if we can figure out the hurt, it won’t be as painful. When we do this, we hurt ourselves over and over again. Thinking about those past experiences drags you down and makes you miserable.
It will feel so much better to let those feelings go. A therapist can help you get to the point where you feel that you can let those feelings go.
Help yourself remember that life is good: After you’ve worked on overcoming some of those feelings, call a friend to talk about something else, go to a movie, or work on one of your hobbies. Think about taking a class at your local craft store, join a new gym class, or try some volunteer work, which has many benefits beyond getting you out of yourself for a while.
If the thoughts you or your child have about being bullied are so dark that you feel like you could harm yourself, do not hesitate to reach out for help. If you’re ever contemplating suicide because you’re being bullied, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255. Or tell someone you trust that will help your through those negative thoughts. Suicide is never the answer. Remind yourself that the bullying is not your fault. Break the silence.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: Rainy Day School Blues via photopin (license)
