Struggling to start a family can be an emotional roller coaster, and it can take its toll on you and your partner.

Not only is it a difficult time emotionally, it can also harm your sex life, your relationship, your finances, and your mental health.

Here are a few reasons why seeing a therapist might be beneficial for you and your partner when going through infertility problems:

Emotions are high: There will be cycles of emotions while undergoing fertility treatment: happiness, anxiety, sadness, and grief (just to name a few). The mother might feel like she is letting her partner down by not being able to get pregnant; it often becomes easier to blame each other. Depression can be a debilitating effect of infertility issues. A therapist knows the symptoms and can help you or your partner cope with these issues.

Communication isn’t there: Because of the emotional blast, it becomes easy to turn on each other instead of turning to each other. Sometimes, partners are so focused on their own emotional needs that they don’t take into account their partner’s needs. In many cases, partners grieve the loss differently and that can create a sense of distance between one another.

It’s important to lean on each other during this difficult time. A therapist can help you become open and honest about what both of you are feeling. Infertility is hard, and it’s even harder when you don’t have your partner to lean on.

Relationship is weakening: Has sex become a chore? It’s possible that you’ve been focused so much on getting pregnant that the act of sex has become mechanical and mundane.

Have you been fighting over finances? Fertility treatments aren’t cheap and it’s important to know what your finances look like and how far you’re able to go in order to have a child. Financial problems can lead to more fights (such as when you will stop treatments, whether you can adopt, etc.).

When you want more support: A therapist is there to listen, to give you tools to help cope, and to support you. Seeing a therapist is nothing to be ashamed of; in such a trying time, it’s important that you get the help you deserve.

Remember to use your resources—there are blogs dedicated to helping couples work through infertility problems, books that offer support and advice, and support groups that meet regularly so that you can be with people who know your struggle firsthand.

Also, Resolve (The National Infertility Association) has resources, advice, and support for you; it’s also nice to mention this website to family so that they can also get information firsthand.

If you would like to set up an appointment to see Reka, you can reach her at 402-881-8125. You can also email her at, or connect with her via Twitter or Facebook.

photo credit: Argyropoulos via photopin cc