It’s no secret that finances can cause major conflicts in a marriage. Many times, money can even lead couples to divorce.
It doesn’t matter whether there’s too much money, not enough money, or one spouse makes more than the other, every marriage is susceptible to financial woes if the couple doesn’t come up with a game plan.
Issues That Can Arise from Income Inequality
- Guilt: Sadness or disappointment that you don’t make as much money as your spouse. In return, you feel guilty when using “their money” to buy items for the house.
- Resentment: In this example, let’s imagine a couple where the woman makes more than the man. The husband might get upset with his wife because she can spend her money more freely than he feels he can. The wife might resent her husband because he is able to spend more time with the children because he works less hours.
- Lying about money: There are many different reasons why a spouse might lie about where and how he/she spends their money. Dishonesty about money might put off the fight right now, but it will make the repercussions much worse when the truth comes out.
How to Resolve the Issues
- Communicate: If you feel guilty for making less money than your spouse, talk about it. If you resent your spouse because you think he/she is spending too much, talk about it. Don’t let the guilt or resentment fester, it will only become worse over time.
- Know your worth: Sit down with your spouse and decide what each of you brings to the marriage. Perhaps the husband works eight hours a day, and the wife stays home with the kids. Because the wife stays home with the kids, you are both able to save money on daycare while also making sure your children are raised the way you both want them to be raised. Each of you have difficult jobs–one is just in an office and the other is at home.
- Set a Budget: If you don’t have a budget, make one today. Figure out your income and expenses, and create a budget for both spouses. It will be pretty obvious as to where your money is going after a couple months. Maybe you didn’t realize just how much you were spending on eating out. When you know exactly where your money is going, you can figure out how to cut back in certain areas.
A marriage is a team. It’s important to be a team when it comes to all realms of the marriage. You wouldn’t expect just one parent to make all the decisions when it comes to raising your children, so why would only one spouse be concerned with the money? Plan your budget together, communicate, and know that there will be setbacks along the way.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
