Sometimes, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly when a friendship ended. It’s easy to drift apart, especially if one of you moved, started a new job, or have a new baby. No matter how it ends: abruptly or subtly; via text messages, an e-mail, or personal confrontation; with words or silence, it needs to be mourned.
Life is complex, and one person’s hopes for a relationship doesn’t always match with the others. If you are being left behind, it’s hard not to wonder what you could have done differently. It’s even harder not to feel injured and defensive.
If you’re the one moving on, it might be that you are making the right decision, but that does not make it pain-free. It’s easy to feel guilty even though you know the friendship isn’t right for you.
Trust that in life, you will always have who you need. It might seem like a small change in your thinking, and it might be extremely difficult to trust that you will always have who you need. But at least try to think this way–See what a difference it can make. Stop trying to control your reality by forcing things; instead, trust that things will work out in time.
One of the most important things for you to do when you’re trying to let go of someone you care about is to give yourself and the other person space. It’s crucial to give the other person space, to give yourself space, and to learn how to live independently from them, find new interests, and new activities.
Chances are you will have to be around the other person again–Maybe you work with them, still have some of the same mutual friends, or live in the same neighborhood. It will be easier on you to get some space in the beginning so that you can be amicable to each other if you run into them later.
The loss of an important friendship can take a lot of time. But once the old friendship has been mourned, new friendships can be born and fostered. Being open to them is key.
Losing a close friend can be too much for a person to handle on their own, especially if it was your closest friend or if you suffer from depression. Talking it over with an objective person, like a therapist, can help put things in perspective and ease the guilt you may feel. If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: edit 4th 2 via photopin (license)
