This is our last post in our three-part series on becoming a first time parent. In our first post, we talked about preparing for baby. In our second post, we talked about what to focus on while in the hospital.
The first few weeks after delivering your first baby are difficult. Even if you and your partner were both extremely confident people before your newborn arrived, neither one of you will feel 100% confident with the decisions you will have to make regarding your newborn. It’s okay.
Taking care of your newborn is a learning process. Here are a few things to keep in mind during those first weeks and months of your newborn’s life:
Keep up with your relationship. Couples with new babies are busy with diaper changes, feedings, and soothing a crying baby. When you and your partner finally have time together alone, chances are you’ll want to sleep. Being a parent to a newborn is exhausting, and sleep deprivation can cause you to act out against your partner because of the littlest things.
It’s important to make time for each other, even if it’s just for a few minutes at different parts of the day. Before your baby came, you talked about the household responsibilities each one of you would take on once the baby arrived. Is the plan you made still working, or does something need to be changed?
Your partner can’t read your mind. Both of your lives are changing, and even though they are changing for the same reason, your lives won’t be changing in the same ways. It’s best to talk about what each of you want or what is bothering you before either of you end up angry at the other.
Set attainable goals. It’s unlikely that you will be running a 5K three weeks after you’ve had a baby. You probably won’t make it to your co-worker’s wedding two days after you give birth. It’s important to set attainable goals for your body, your baby, and your spouse.
If being in the house all day is making you feel like a hermit, make it a goal of yours to get out of the house at least once a day. Take short walks with your baby.
Most people will tell you to sleep when your baby sleeps. Sometimes, that’s not possible. Instead of using the time that your baby sleeps as time to get housework done, use it as time to relax: watch a favorite television show, read a chapter of a new book, or just lay on the couch and enjoy the quiet.
Know the signs of postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is temporary depression related to pregnancy and childbirth. Symptoms like sadness, anxiety, tearfulness, and trouble sleeping usually indicate a mild case of postpartum and will go away 10-12 days after the birth. It’s important to let your health care provider know if your depression lasts longer than two weeks.
More severe cases of postpartum depression can last up to a year. You may feel unable to take care of your baby or yourself, and daily tasks may seem impossible. Some mothers are too ashamed to tell anyone about the feelings they are having, but it’s crucial to let your doctor know if you are. They will be able to provide help to overcome those feelings.
Keep in mind that it does get better. You won’t always have to get up four times a night in order to feed or change a crying baby. Until then, lean on your partner, other mothers, family, and friends. Seek advice from other parents with young children, from articles and books, and from family members. And remember, you don’t have to take every piece of advice given to you. Do what’s best for your family.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook
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