It’s not news to hear someone say that a marriage is difficult at times. You and your spouse will find yourselves in different stages of your marriage that will require more work than others.

When these difficult stages occur, it’s important to have a marriage support system to lean on.

Both you and your spouse have a responsibility to help build a community of support and encouragement for your own marriage. It’s also important to offer those same assets to other married couples. What kind of married couples should you have in your marital support system?

Mentors. Find couples who are further along in the marriage process than you are, and build relationships with them. It’s quite possible that they’ve had the same problems that you and your spouse are having. Lean on them, and take their advice. How did they work through a similar fight? They can give you a fresh perspective, advice, and hope.

Married Peers. Couples in a similar life stage as you can be beneficial for your marriage. They can provide neutral perspective from a peer point-of-view. It’s good to have couples in your life who are experiencing the same things as you are: starting careers, considering the idea of having a baby, struggling with finances, etc. You can support each other as different challenges and achievements occur.

Younger couple. When you work alongside your spouse to help another couple, you become better communicators. You become more aware of what your relationship has been through and how you have gotten this far. This is the couple you can invest in.

Your therapist. You don’t have to go see your therapist just when your marriage is struggling. Many couples choose to have occasional marital check-ups. You can gain tremendous benefit from professional marriage counseling.

Keep in mind that not only are you building your marital support system, you are also becoming part of another couple’s support system. You are all connected. When you and your spouse help another couple work through a difficult time, you will feel like you achieved something together as a team.

What do you look for when it comes to building your marriage support system? Let us know.

To set up an appointment with Reka, you can reach her by phone at 402-881-8125 or by email at You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

photo credit: Promise via photopin (license)