Girl hate is tearing down fellow women for reasons related to competitiveness, insecurity, and jealousy.
A girl or woman of any age can be a victim of girl hate. It happens at school, at work, the gym, on the street, and on the Internet. It can be about a woman’s looks, her intelligence, her sexuality, and/or her success.
You might not even be aware that you are taking part in it, and sometimes it can seem relatively harmless: “That girl shouldn’t be wearing a two piece” or “I can’t believe she got that job. She’s not even done with school.”
Voicing negative or mean comments about other women not only harms those women, but it does nothing for you. You will still wake up with the same insecurities as you did the day before. When you project that insecurity onto someone else, it can be a difficult thing for them to ever forget.
Why do we feel the need to do this?
It can stem from a lot of places, but a good place to start is with society. Consider social media and the actresses on our TVs, in film, and in magazines. The media tends to push this notion that a woman must have a perfect body or be the best at something. The idea that our worth is tied to how we look or how successful we are has been imprinted on our brains since a very young age.
How can we stop girl hate?
In Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis’ article “Raising a Kind Daughter,” she says:
“Kindness among young girls doesn’t start on the playground or in the locker room. It starts at home. Most notably, it starts with kind mothers raising kind daughters. Our girls see how we treat our friends. They also notice how we treat their friends.
If we treat their friends as competitors, our daughters will too. If we love their friends like we love our own children, they’re more likely to see them as sisters and part of the family.”
Create an environment where fellow girls feel beautiful, smart, and appreciated. Being noticed for something positive is incredibly empowering. Female positivity is about focusing on the things you like or appreciate about another girl. It’s about voicing those positive comments and helping drive a woman’s confidence.
Instead of trying to compete with other girls, focus on building up your confidence. Confidence is the first step needed in order to look past what other people expect from us and to focus on what we expect from ourselves.
Femsplain founder Amber Gordon says that women “are our own biggest advocate, and if we can break that stereotypical girl versus girl mentality, there’s so much that we can do.”
Intense jealousy and insecurity can quickly tear you down. Constantly comparing yourself to other women and seeing only your flaws can lead to depression, eating disorders, stress, and/or anxiety. If you feel as though you are suffering from any of these, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
To schedule an appointment with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: It’s Love! via photopin (license)
