When it comes to a physical affair, it’s easy to know what constitutes as cheating: sexual intimacy with someone other than your partner. An emotional affair, on the other hand, can be confusing, exciting, and tough to pinpoint.
While there are some people who believe that emotional affairs are harmless, most marriage experts view emotional affairs as cheating. By investing energy and time into another person, an attachment is formed that impacts the intimacy of your relationship with your partner. Emotional affairs also often lead to sexual infidelity.
Although it might be hard to pinpoint an emotional affair, deep down you probably know when you are engaging in one. Here are a few red flags to look out for:
You want to tell them good news first
Do you have exciting news? Who do you want to call first: your partner or your friend? If you’d rather call and tell your friend, he/she has become your primary emotional confidant.
You share things with him/her that you don’t share with your partner
Are you sharing your feelings of marital dissatisfaction with your friend? That is a huge indicator of an emotional affair. Another indicator is when you end up sharing stuff that you don’t share with your partner, things that would connect you to your partner.
You think your friend understands you better than your partner
The feeling that your friend understands you better than your partner comes from the fact that you are spending more time with your friend, and often, telling them more than you are telling your partner.
You start dressing for them
You begin dressing up or wearing things that you think your friend will appreciate: a certain dress that they’ve commented on previously, a tie in their favorite color, or a pair of sexy pumps. You want to look nice for them, and you crave their compliments.
For some, an emotional affair can cause a greater wound than a physical one. If you and your partner find yourself in the middle of this kind of situation, therapists advise ending the affair and/or trying couples therapy.
In therapy, your therapist can help you sort out why you or your partner felt the need to start this emotional affair. Your therapist should push you to talk about the issues or the differences the two of you are facing. Addressing the problem is always the best way to get back to the relationship’s core.
Did you or your partner have an emotional affair? Are you struggling with getting your relationship back on track? Don’t hesitate to call Reka by phone at 402-881-8125. You can also email her at reka@omaha-counseling.com, or connect with her via Twitter or Facebook.
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photo credit: louiscrusoe via photopin cc
