Some people are radiant in a room full of people. Others would rather sit in the corner and not talk to anyone they don’t know. There are many reasons why people don’t feel comfortable in social situations: maybe they suffer from extreme shyness, anxiety, stress, or their personality just doesn’t allow for it.

Making people comfortable is a gift that comes naturally to some, but for others, it’s a skill to be learned and practiced. Being approachable means that when someone looks at you, they feel able to talk to you. They feel like you are someone who will be receptive. This quality is useful in many different situations.

However, seeming unapproachable can wreck your dating, social, and career life. Here are a few ways to make other people feel they can talk to you without being brushed off.

  1. This seems like an obvious one, but you might be surprised just how far a smile can take you. When you smile, people think you’re friendly and open and in a good mood. Smiling makes you more approachable because people want to talk to someone who appears happy.

Have an open body frame. This is an important step in appearing open and available for conversation. Keep your head up, sit up straight, and make yourself comfortable. Let your face be confidently exposed. Keep your arms in a welcoming position—for example, it’s best to avoid crossing your arms or having your hands raised in front of your chest.

Dress confidently. Paige Parker, dating coach, suggests that if you want to get someone’s attention, wear a colorful and flattering outfit. Not only will you turn heads, it’ll make you feel attractive, confident, and successful. When you look your best, you’ll feel it all over your body; your posture will straighten up, your self-esteem will rise, and you’ll be more likely to make eye contact and smile.

Show your liking for another person. Gretchen Rubin believes that we’re much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. When you walk into a coffee shop and the man behind the counter greets you warmly, it makes you feel happy and appreciated. You instantly like that barista. Look for ways to signal that you enjoy a person’s company.

If you aren’t used to this, it might be difficult to try these things all at once; if so, try them one at a time. You’ll be amazed at what a difference each one will make.

If you struggle with extreme shyness, anxiety, and/or excessive stress that makes it hard for you to get through your day, it might be time to see a therapist. They can help you figure out different ways to help you work through your anxiety.

If you’d like to set up a time to meet up with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125, by email at, or via Twitter or Facebook.

Photo Credit: via photopin (license)