After a breakup, it can be tempting to jump into your next relationship or begin dating again before you’re really ready to be back in the dating world. You might miss the comfort, company, friendship, and intimacy that you had in your last relationship, but by diving right back into the dating world, you’ll miss out on valuable “you” time.
There’s no set time for how long to stay single after a breakup. Regardless of whether you broke up with your ex or if your ex broke up with you, it’s important to spend some time getting to know yourself as a single person. Here are a few tips to focus on after a breakup:
Make yourself Priority #1 again. Give yourself time to breathe and to look back on what worked and didn’t work in your last relationship. Did you treat yourself well in that last relationship? Did you make yourself a priority? Susan J. Elliot, in an article for eHarmony, suggests that before you begin to date again, you must learn that you are important and your opinions matter. You also need to know your own standards. And you learn those things by spending time with yourself.
Being single in order to spend time with yourself is much healthier than moving on before you have fully dealt with the breakup.
Reconnect with yourself. In a relationship, we tend to give up parts of ourselves. Sometimes it’s small things, like watching comedy shows over your favorite crime dramas. Other times, it’s major pieces of what makes you you. Dive back into yourself: get back to writing or painting, focus on your career, get involved with your church again, and hang out with the friends that you missed. You can spend as much time as you want on your hobbies without having to answer to a significant other.
Use the time to fall in love with your body.Em and Lo of The Huffington Post bring up a great point: sometimes, it’s hard to love your own body when you’re with someone because you’re thinking “what do they think of my body?” as opposed to “what do I think of my body?” This is an opportunity to figure out what makes your body feel good. Once you’ve figured out how to treat your body well, you can learn how to love it. The confidence you will develop will have a major impact on your future dating habits.
Spending quality time with yourself can be a valuable part of the healing process. Don’t cheat yourself out of the opportunity to grow through this experience.
If you’d like to set up a time to meet with Reka, you can contact her by phone at 402-881-8125 or by email at reka@omaha-counseling.com. Make sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.
—
photo credit: A throne is only a bench covered with velvet via photopin (license)
